Road Trippin'

Last weekend some friends and I decided to visit AZ. A buddy of ours recently moved to Mesa and that's where I am from so two birds, one stone. I love me some Arizona, especially when it was in the 70s...what is up warm weather!

We left Thursday night and stayed in Vegas. Of course there was some gambling, nothing like being in a smoke filled room and losing money. Side note: When my chiropractor asked if I did any gambling I replied, "It's not gambling if you fully intend to lose all your money." He cracked up and said we thought a lot alike. We're awesome. Any way...we headed out to Mesa in the morn to surprise my famdam.

Knocking on the door I was trying not to giggle because I get weird when I'm excited. My fam was excited to see me. Michael had a campout, Marcus was at work, and I convinced Shern to go get Mesa Frozen Yogurt with me before she left for a party. 

And I played Pac Man, of course.

That night I chilled and watched some New Girl with my Mah.

Saturday, my BFF/Aunt, Alyssa and I spent the day together. Gluten free cupcakes at Sprinkles.

 Y'all know you aren't supposed to eat the little "G" on top? Because I sure didn't! I chomped that plastic G like it was my beeotch. Alyssa thought I broke my tooth cuz of the mad shattering sounds I made while destroying it. And I swallowed all of it. I'm sure this will be one of the many contributing factors of why my future offspring have too many fingers or webbed feet. Oh well. We also went to my fave Mexican place, Rosa's and did work on their chips. Please Utah, for the love, get some good Mexican joints up in herrrre! Lyssa, Marcus, and I had some fun times at Wal-Mart later stocking up on stuff I never need. And finished the night off by watching newly purchased 500 Days of Summer. Joseph Gordon-Levitt: if you are reading this, let's get married. That is all. 

Sunday night some of my good friends and family came over. I got to see Tyler and Lisa days before little Emma came into the world (today), Damn you child and your untimely entrance! We snacked, chatted, and then the real fun came when we busted out Rock Band. Of course I had to sing Amy Winehouse's Rehab, while acting (but sounding nothing) like her. And Shern donned her Gaga gear to sing Poker Face. 

It ended up like this

We played, we sang (off key), and danced our faces off. 

Thank you to all my friends and family that came by, you da best! ESPECIALLY MY AUNT JOELE WHO DROVE OUT FROM WAY-THE-FREAK-QUEEN-CREEK. And thanks for participating in the freak show that is my family. 

Shern and I decided the best way to wrap up our night would be to make a video. A video that we have talked about making for a long time. 

I was a little reluctant to put this online because I was afraid people wouldn't know that we were joking.

My Mah reassured me that anyone that knew us, would know this was just to be funny.

I hope you enjoy :)

There is so much awkwardness going on that I love it so much.

Mah was mad she wasn't a part of it but next time she can be. 

P.S. That awkward moment when your boss tells you he watched the video. Hahaha oh the joys of the internet. 

Here are some other pictures from my family that night...

 Sturgeon Dad

 Miss New Booty

She works out! 

Monday we set out after breakfast from Joe's Farm Grill. The car had a couple of hiccups (of course it did, I was riding in it) but we made it back to Provo that night.

It was great to see you family, I will come and visit after I get back this summer. But that won't probably be until Christmas time! 

P.S. I got a cold while visiting so I am under the influence of several cold medications. Sorry for the ADD post and nonsense. 

February 15th

Valentine's Day has not always been my favorite day, because it's kind of like Friday the 13th, everything bad happens to me...

It all started in the 2nd grade when I got the chicken pox and Mah wouldn't let me go to school. If there is one thing I will go to school for, it's for a party and treats. A fever and body full o' hives kept me from school and somehow I ended up with my Grammers. My parents had something going on so Grammers and I spent the day together checking and talking to all the old people in the neighborhood. My Grammers was like the old person ambassador for the street, so I got to tag along to visit all the oldies. I'm pretty sure every time someone asked why I wasn't in school I lifted up my shirt to show off my stomach covered in pox. I'm so modest.

In high school, this ridiculous but attractive kid kissed me on my best friend's trampoline after a night of anti-valentine activities. Way to ruin my protest, bro.

When I was 21 or 22 I experienced my worst Valentine's and possibly day ever. But it's over so it's all ggooooodd.

I'm not someone that gets depressed because I don't get flowers or go on a hot date. Although, I'm pretty sure the good people of the local grocery store were about to slip me some anti-depressants after I shuffled in wearing sweats and buying Ben & Jerry's, Reese's eggs, and a People magazine. My crazy hair and bags under my eyes were because of work and no sleep, not to be easily confused with a sad lonely girl.

Yesterday, I was talking to my boss and he told me he was boycotting Valentine's day. I told him I didn't have a problem with it, but February 15th was my favorite day of the year...it's when all the chocolates go on sale. I literally won't eat for a week just so I can try to give myself diabetes the day after Valentine's. I don't eat truffles all year to enjoy them on that one day. I love me some chocolates at half price. Also, I am not afraid to admit I love chocolate covered peeps with all my heart! Me gusta mucho.

I hope everyone had a good day because I sure did! I can't wait until tomorrow for my favorite day! I love getting my hefty-chocolate-lovin girl on.

Ten Before 25

I've been thinking about things I would like to do before I leave in a few months, which got me thinking on what I want to do this year. I'm going to turn 25 in October so that gives me about 8 months to accomplish my dreams for the first quarter of my life.

In reality, my goals ten years ago for my life before 25 probably were: be awesome, graduate, get married, have some kids, and graduate college. I am pretty awesome, even if I'm the only one that thinks that, I did manage to graduate from high school, and then that's about it. I've been going to school for a while but no degree yet. And although I assumed I would be hitched and have babies a while ago, my life is pretty cool. I have two jobs I love, I live with my wonderful cousins, and I don't currently have anything tying my down and keeping me from traveling!

There is always room for improvement (and I have a whole lot of space) so here are:

My Top Ten Things to do Before 25:

1. Live in a different country

Easy peasy lemon squeezy. I'm leaving the country in less than 3 months. 

What is up Thailand! 

Also, I compiled a list of places I would like to go or live in, they can be found Here.

2. Ride an elephant through the jungle

I've ridden one before but not through the jungle, Giddy up!

3. Lose 10 pounds

My blood sugar had a vendetta against my body and I need to lose some extra L to the Bs. 

4. Do something crazy/awesome with my hair! 

I have some purple in it right now but I can do better. Alls I can say is my hairdresser is so stoked for my cut before I leave. 

5. Kiss a guy

Or achieve world peace through the "Circle of Ethnicity"

6. Discover a passion or talent.

7. Buy a new (to me) car. 

This will be the fourth car I've driven. 

The 4 Runner is still kickin it in AZ

The Honda is deceased &

The Camry is still truckin along all smashed

8. Make myself avoidable to automobile accidents.

Maybe I can use mind control. But really, two accidents in 5 months gave me mad driving PTSD.

9. Read more books! 

This is from the BYU museum of art.

I love to read but sometimes I feel like Liz Lemon when she joined a retirement community book club.

(Liz shows Jack the book they are reading) Jack: "You do know they made that book into a movie, right?"

Liz then tosses it into the trash can. I do much better with movies than with books. 

10. Develop a regular scripture reading habit.

Overall Goal: Be Myself.

I can't think of a time that I didn't rock a lot of stripes and mismatched clothes, sing too loud, dance all the time, and sometimes talk in weird voices, but I wanna make sure I don't stop. 

 But that also means, there will be a lot more mustache wearing

I don't see how that is a problem for anyone because I wear them so well :{

Becoming An Aggie

The life lesson for watching The Vow last night was to keep a journal in case your head is bashed in an accident and you can't remember your life. I hate writing in a journal, it bugs me, and my handwriting is weird so I will blog.

In the last month, I've gone to Ephraim, Rexburg, and Logan for work. Logan by far is the best! I had never been up there before and everyone at work kept telling me how awesome it was but I was a little skeptical.  I went by myself and did not get lost! Yay! 10 points for me...take that universe. I drove up main street so I could see what was around during my free time. 

Kiera told me that I could become a true Aggie by riding the bull statue....and I could become an ultimate Aggie by riding the bull in the snow, naked.

 As per usual, I would be totally down for either of those but, alas, I did not discover the location of the bull. 

After and in between my meetings I did a little exploring. My favorite thing was the temple and how chill the town was. Here are some pictures I took on my crappy picture phone.

Here's the front of the temple

 A friggin sweet tree I saw on the grounds

And here it is at night (through my truck window...it was snowing)

I hung out around the temple for a while. It was so beautiful, I love the style and stone. I also went around the city, checked out the lamest mall ever, bought some sun dresses from a thrift store, and found this totally rad little used bookstore on main street. I wish I had more time to look at all the books and other small shops but I was there to work. 

It definitely was a chilly day with some snow but it was really beautiful and cool to just hangout by myself and explore all day. Logan is the shiz, I hope I can go back when it's a little warmer and explore even more!

Even though I didn't become a true Aggie, I could see myself spending time or living up there, y'all should visit :)

Why I Must Avoid Online Dating

If you are observant and noticed it is after 2am, two points and a gold star to you. I've been trying to sleep for four hours now with no luck. But I managed to watch a new Joseph Gordon-Levitt movie. I love him. Love like I created him to be my new Heath Ledger, who is dead and will remain perfect in my eyes. Anyways...

While walking to my car and driving home from my friends' Super Bowl party tonight, I thought about how I've had such a hard time finding friends (not co-workers), let along guys I want/can date. Where do people find friends? Or boyfriends? Online? Then the thought, "There's no way in hell I could ever try online dating. I would be so dumb to try," entered my mind.

Why would I be so foolish? Well, lucky for you I compiled a list of things that would most likely come out while trying to find a match that would either screw up my life or make everyone avoid me like the plague. 

(By sharing this list, I fully acknowledge that I might never make friends or hear back from half of you)

Dating Deal Breakers

1. I have what some might think and have described as an "unhealthy" obsession with Michael Jackson.

 I may or may not listen to this album everyday.

And by may or may not, I mean I do. Everyday. I also watch his History DVD any time that I feel sad. And I once morphed our faces to see what our child would look like. And it was beautiful. Waaayyy better looking than that Angelina and Brad's wonder baby. 

2. I frequently google baby farm animals. Also, more often when I'm sad or lonely. Sometimes with my 7 and 9 year old cousins so that I don't feel weird. I only like animals in miniature versions. 

.

This pig will be mine!

3. I sing a lot. And dance. I live in a basement by myself and sometimes it takes a while before I realize I've been singing everything I'm doing or talking aloud. Not like in a Sybil or Shining way, just in a I'm-used-to talking-to-people-all-the-time-and-now-I-live-alone-and-it-never-stopped-me way. And I just like to sing all the time, especially when driving. 

4. When people ask me if I'm dating someone or who my last relationship was with I answer with Netflix. Mostly joking but I do spend a lot of time with netflix. I also would choose a night in with it rather than try and mingle with people I don't know.  I need to stop with the dating an internet video store joke. It's weird. 

5. I don't sleep well. Obviously. I watch too many tv shows and movies during the night. I once watched 5 seasons of Gossip Girl in under two weeks. Granted I had kidney stones so I spent all day and night doing it, but it's pathetic nonetheless. I've also given up on sleeping pills because they: don't work correctly, just make me tired without sleeping, and I buy things online. At least I'm not creepy like the Twilight vampire and watch people sleep. I just resort to watching 12 hours of DVR and who knows how many hours of Netflix or sketchy downloaded movies :)

Bonus: Anything about myself as a kid. This includes but is not limited to: cemeteries, terrible occupational goals, fear of basically everything (animals, knives, etc), perfecting my reading abilities with trashy celeb mags, my tendency to start fires, getting an unusual amount of concussions, wanting to train animals to fight each other (roosters, fish, dogs),  hardly wearing clothes and skinny dipping, thinking that if I hoped and prayed hard enough I would turn black, and having Drew Barrymore as an idol. 

But thinking about all of these things made me realize they are some of my favorite qualities...I love Michael Jackson and he really inspired me as a kid. Little animals are super cute so everyone should look at them and be happy. Singing and dancing are my favorite things to do and I don't care if I have to do it alone, it's just as fun. Netflix really is the best. Not sleeping sometimes requires I fuel up on Dr. Pepper and I LOVE Dr. Pepper. And even though I was a really shady kid, it makes for good stories!! 

If This Were to Happen to Anyone, It Would Be Me.

This last week I went to Rexburg for work. I took a co-worker with me and we were supposed to run three informational meetings. Most people know that I am slightly challenged when it comes to directions. Not that I've ever been lost a millions times before. I'm basically the queen of U-turns. Anyways....this time Mapquest led me astray. Big time. Like took me to Boise instead of Rexburg. About 30 minutes before the first meeting, we realized that something was up. Our phone GPS didn't work so I called my boss. Here's how it went down.

Me: "Hey! I have some bad news. I think we are lost and the meeting starts soon. We're in some place called Glen's Ferry..."

Boss: "Glen's Ferry?"

Me: "Yeah, I have no idea where we are."

Boss: "Wait. Shelene, are you joking."

Me: "Dead serious. All my messing around has ruined my seriousness. You know I can't lie without giggling. And all I want to do is cry right now."

Boss: "It's true, you always laugh when you are lying or joking. You are 250 miles away from Rexburg."

Me: "That makes me want to throw up. Or cry. But neither of those things are going to help us right now."

Boss: "Just laugh, this is kind of funny, we'll figure things out. It will be funny."

Me: "It's too raw, too soon. There will be no laughing.....okay, maybe in like an hour."

In case you would really like to see how far we were...Click here

So my co-worker and I eventually make it to Rexburg...four hours later. 

Here's Rexburg. This place be poppin'.

Eventually, we did our other meeting. Followed by eating too much, singing and dancing in the car, and talking about beautiful men. All around fun times. Then the next day I got to listen to my other boss tell everyone he was not surprised we got lost. "I've seen the way you drive, Shelene." So rude. Just because I get turned around all.the.time and totaled two cars in five months doesn't mean anything. #bitchidontknowyourlife.