"I'm feeling fine, just a little pass-y out-y"

Yesterday I missed class because I was not feeling well, and by not feeling well, I mean faint. I thought it would be a really foolish idea for me to drive 15 minutes to campus, park 10 minutes away, and walk up and down many many sets of stairs when feeling a bit dizzy. I don't have the best track record with keeping it together when I feel faint at school, so I really didn't want to risk knocking my head on some steps. As I contemplated whether or not I should attempt going to school, I thought of my other two close calls...

Pause

These poor goats are so me

Close Call #1:

During Winter term I took a biology class and lab. The lab only had like 12 people and was actually really fun. For one of the labs I had to take my blood so that I could test what type I was. Having hypoglycemia and testing my blood before, I thought, "I can do this!" I had so much confidence in myself until my teacher gave me this little pokey thing and said we would have to push really hard to get the blood out. I was determined so I laid across the table, put my head down, and brought my hands in front of my face so I could see what I was doing. I mentally prepared and while the house of horrors (aka the rest of the class) moaned and cried I pushed the poker into my finger and squeezed out the blood. I was so proud of myself and tried to get up but everything was spinning and seemed to travel through light speed. I had to lay there for a while until I could finish up my lab and get it together. Luckily I survived and got through the rest of class totally fine. 

Close Call #2:

Earlier this year I took a human development class. The class was incredible and the teacher was even better, BUT the course included some talk (and video) of actual child birth. Anyone that knows me, knows that I don't do well with that, and earlier attempts to view such material (or even the Baby Story on TLC) usually leads me to the floor or gagging uncontrollably. 

So I am in class and the teacher announces that we will be watching an epidural, episiotomy, vagainal and Cesarean birth. My teacher also said that we could leave class, along with him, during the 15 minute video that would be broadcast on a giant screen; making it larger than life. I was all about leaving but when I went to stand up and realized that I was in the smack middle of an auditorium that holds 350+ people and it was going to take me a little while to shimmy down the row...

 The thought of a baby's head charging out of his mom incepted my mind and I started to get light-headed. *Danger* As I stood up to leave and make my way out, the room starting spinning and I envisioned my unconscious body falling onto one my classmates on the level below me. I quickly sat back down and put my head between my knees. For the next 15 minutes (also know as the longest 15 minutes of my life) I slumped over in my chair, trying to play games on my cell phone, while going in and out of tunnel vision.

I barely made it through the video and had to hold on to the railing to get out of class. Luckily, the fresh winter air helped and I made it home without passing out. 

Yesterday:

After reviewing my past experiences, I decided that I should go to the doctor instead. If anyone ever wants to  feel really good about themselves and their health, you should tag along to the doctor with me. The nurse asked me a lot of questions:

Nurse: "Have you ever broken a bone or had surgery?"

Me: "I would say about 11 or 12 bones..."

Nurse: "Whoa, that many? When was the last one?"

Me: "Yeah, about that many, give or take some toes. The last one was two months ago but I just cracked my ribs a little."

Me: "Oh, and I had my last surgery in 2009."

Nurse: "Oh, okay. Wow, you're pretty young for that."

Me: "Welcome to my life."

Doctor: "Well, everything you told me isn't adding up and doesn't sound normal. I'm going to need to send you to someone else too, along with some blood work."

Me: "Hmm..comforting."

Nevertheless, I made it through the two hours and getting blood work done, all without passing out! 

I was pretty stoked and gladly rewarded myself with victory lollipops while they made me wait in the lab room just to make sure I didn't go down on them. 

1 Point Me: 1,000,000 Universe.