Thursday, March 10, 2011

Baby Bears and Broken Bums


I haven't written in a while. Mainly because I'm SUPER busy with school and work. And I'm also kind of boring. BUT this past weekend was was awesome. I've basically told everyone I know (and a couple of random strangers) so I'm sorry to exhaust the story. This last weekend my Biology Professor (he's the hilarious one I wrote about before) let some of our class go out into the boonies with him to change and monitor radio transmitter collars on bears. Yes, real bears!! I've been jazzed about this all semester and agreed to do whatever  it took to go. I drove out with my friend from class, Marci and her husband Andrew, because they have a four wheel drive truck. It ended up leaving at 5 am and it was a 3 1/2 hour drive to the sticks. I didn't care because I  was bound and determined to see a bear and maybe even touch one! In actuality, I wanted to steal a cub and domesticate it in my condo. I'm totally someone that would end up on Fatal Attraction on the Animal Planet. Anyways..
We got out there and met up with other members of our class and had to off road it up another 10 miles of this canyon. We got there and it was cold and still had snow on the ground. Of course I had to pee and ended up going in some brush (out of desperation) and getting stickers in my thermals. I'm a genius. A small group tracked the mother bear down so that she wouldn't sniff out our entire group. They then put her to sleep by using a pole with a needle attached to the end. They have to get right up in the grill of the bear and stab it in the shoulder with the needle. I really wanted to do it but apparently I'm not "qualified." Whatever.
So the mama bear is only asleep for about an hour and a half so we have to rush everyone up the side of the mountain and back down, then check the collar, and put them all back in the cave. So this lovely bear decided to hibernate in the worse spot ever-on a side of a cliff/mountain. The ground was covered in ice, snow, and mud so it was a very eventful climb up a 45 degree angle cliff. Right off the bat I go to jump a ditch below me and when I hit the ground, my feet slip on ice and I SLAM right on my butt. BROKEN TAILBONE. I was so stoked about the bears that I climbed the mountain anyways. When we got up there, there were some ladies holding baby bears. We didn't have enough time to hold them so we were suppose to gather and take a group shot and then go back down the mountain. I snuggled right up to one of these bear ladies and held out my hands. She actually placed the baby bear in my arms!!! I held a freakin baby bear cub. It was so cute and soft and would wrap its cute little claws around my finger. I about died it was so cute. Here's a picture of Marci, Andrew, and I with the bear.
It was only 4 lbs. Tiny little guy
Here we are again. Notice that I'm the only one holding it...mwahahaha
So only like 3 people out of my class got to hold the bear, that is including me. I was so happy that I temporarily forgot that my behind was in a trillion pieces. Baby bear cubs are like crack, they make you feel wonderful no matter how bad you are off and you just want more and more of them! I'm in love.
Then we went and checked out the mama who was out cold. Here is Dr. Black with the mom. 
My teacher is a beast, he's just chillin with the mama who could claw his face off at any time. Rad.
Then we went back down the mountain so they would have time to get them mother bear in the cave and not go postal and kill everyone. They really don't do that, but it would be kind of awesome. On the way down we were slipping and sliding down the snow until we hit some brush or a tree. That did not help the tailbone situation. Finally on the ground, my cub euphoria had worn off and I was hurtin! I had to ride for 4 more hours on a fold down seat in the back of a truck. It was so miserable but worth it! 
I'm in so much pain and have been this week, it's not even funny. I just want to die all.the.time. In case you have no idea where the tailbone is:
See how it is in the middle? I feel like my weight is on it no matter what I do.
I feel like I need to tell my classmates why I'm sitting like a freak in class. Mainly, I don't want them thinking I have hemorroids, that would be awkward and embarrassing. So this girl in my class asks me how I broke it and I gave her a short explanation of what I was doing. She then decides this would be a great topic to write on for her newspaper reporting class. That's how exciting BYU is, you have to write stories about people that destroy their bottoms by being a spaz while tracking bears. I had to text my roommate and tell her right away. I kinda hope they publish it somewhere. Further proof that my life is not real.





1 comment:

Leece said...

No offense but I laughed out loud hysterically throughout this entire post. I love your blog!