Oh Rats!

So I most definitely should be using my time wisely and writing my paper and studying for finals but I can't concentrate. I thought I would share a little story that I was telling my roommate the other night. And y'all know how much I love to draw ridiculous pictures.
When I was in the fifth grade we had pet rats which procreated and created more rats in the form of adorable babies. Yes, I actually do enjoy a good rat, even though their snake-like tails kinda wig me out.
Anyways.. one day our student teacher (who was a friend of an older sister of the group) asked my friends and I to stay after school and pose for pictures of us reading and doing other scholarly things for her teaching project portfolio. We all really liked our student teacher so we agreed. We stayed after and felt super mature that we were being models for her oh-so-important college assignment. As we were staging an awesome reading session, we decided to take the baby rats out and put them on the floor to "read" with us. Let me preface this by saying that at this point in my life I was very much into bell-bottom jeans. Were they in fashion at the time to anyone but me? Probably not, But I didn't care and wore whatever I wanted. So I'm workin' the camera and my sweet flared jeans when I learned a very important life lesson:

That's correct, wide leg jeans + curious baby rats = danger!

I was pretending to read when I realized that seven baby rats had made their way through my denim tunnel and were heading north very quickly. I stood up carefully only to discover that my sweet 70s jeans not only flared but had a lengthly crotch area that made for a perfect rest stop for my critter friends.

(Sidenote: my hair really was that horrendous until I hit puberty. Totally accurate.)

It's an interesting predicament to be in; being an extremely awkward adolescent with way too many tiny rats camped out in the crotch of your pants. If this were to happen now my pants would be off in no time but I was so shy I couldn't possibly undress at school in front of my friends! Also, I was worried about the well being of my rat babies. So my best friend assisted me in shimmy-ing my body until the little rodent claws let go of my flesh and pantalones and started to slide down my leg. I carefully cupped my hand under them so they didn't crash to the ground and become instant vegetable brains. Luckily, all little rats made it out safely and I managed to keep most of the skin on my legs. 

There is a moral to the story (didn't see this coming, huh?). If you think it is a good idea to try to bring back pants, that should have never been in style in the first place, you might want to reconsider. And you should never wear anything loose enough that has the potential to house rodents or small animals. 

Hope my pain and embarrassment will brighten your day. And now you will understand if I ever refer to having rats in my pants, rather than ants.... :)